11:24

emotions alchemized into Art is one of the core principles of my Art practice,,, taking pain and turning it into beauty as means of catharsis and release,,, drawing on a cycle of toxic and abusive relationships which spanned for 5 years of my life, this work examines the human nature of racial dynamics, relationships of all nature (romantic, platonic, familial, violent) and attachment styles,,, consisting of many sculptural elements this work has begun to create itself before its conceptualization was even acknowledged,,, It began with a spark,,, a collision of souls, an experience as source material,,, it began with a melody stuck in my head gradually forming itself over the span of 3 years,,,

the first sculptural element to be created and the catalysts informing most of the work was the music,,, I began writing a piece in my junior year of highschool,,, the ascending riff was all that existed for a great deal of time,,, occasionally chords would flood my mind as this riff circulated, occasionally I was catch a glimpse of what the song should become before it vanished from my mind,,,there's an ephemeral beauty in songwriting often the best melodies or arrangements I have ever come up with will flee my mind as soon as they appeared,,, as if to say a brief hello and show what could be,,, it wasn't until this summer, after I had begun my modern/contemporary dance practice that I knew what this song must become,,, a score for movement,,, while words evaded this peace I knew that the body could say things my voice was never able to articulate,,, through the interplay of movement and sounds Ivory was created,,, a piece of beauty born out of violence,,, much like its namesake,,, 

and then there was fire,,, in all honesty the idea for candles was born out of a TikTok trend,,, a trend where people would inglite a lighter with a caption such as  “young me to my family” “me to my first love” at which point an off screen wind would extinguish their flame,,, I thought wow what a beautifully raw and elemental way to display what it feels like to have your heart shattered into a million pieces by the one you want most to hold it,,, I knew then that anatomically correct heart shaped candles was how I wanted to further show this dynamic I was feeling,,, the feeling of your soul being set on fire, your heart glowing for another person only for the flames of your love and warmth to be extinguished,,, to be constantly seeking the warmth of your soul in another person only to be disillusioned,,, and thus a work of instruction based performance art, inspired by the likes of Abramovich's Night Sea Crossing and Simone Fortis Handbook in Motion, was born,,, 

It read as such:

Reject my warmth 

Performed in red gimp suits in black box or outdoors 

Possibly sitting at table or if standing with orchestration I will compose 

Videos and also performed live 

They walk in from stage left and stage right

Hold out candle 

Other person blows it out 

Repeat for some(a long amount) time

Over time the person begins to shiver ???

Other person takes the candle and lights it for themselves 

Then first person reaches out to cup your hands around the fire 

Person stage right blows it out,,,

Repeat for some (a long amount) of time

Once fed up/ exhausted of this cycle leave your partner to light your own fire,,,a bonfire,,,

though the work  never originated as a dance but I don't see how it could have ever been anything else,,,when I was in Greece studying my cultural folk dance I was reminded of why we dance,,,we dance as an extension of life,,, a physical manifestation of the soul,,,joy,,,pain,,sorrow,,,I immediately knew that the only way I could heal,,,could find solace from my “dark ages” the period of time this work explores was through using the body as an organic sculpture,,,

the process of creating the dance was mostly intuitive,,,listening to the music and focusing on the synthetic shape my mind conjured,,,translating that then into movement for the body,,, I drew inspiration from movements I was taught in my modern dance class and the works of my peers,,,being an ardent student of this craft which is new to me,,, 

elemental as always this work plays with fire, air, sound and light,,,no detail was left behind,,,as much as there is intentionality between all elements of this work the lights tell a story,,, each color representing the different parties and the state of the relationship between them,,,each cue adding to my favorite element of this work,,,the DRAMA,,,

Art exists in the space between people and I have a hypothesis about what might be created between the audience and this work,,, due to the red and blue colorization of the work (which serves to represent my relationship with a specific person)  I suspect that many will have a political read on this work,,, As a person whose identity is highly politicized, especially in this day and age, everything I do “must” mean something political,,, quite the contrary actually,,, this is my least political work I have ever done,,, it exists in something bound, something so human it is not tangible,,, It is about the soul, the heart, the space between people,,, the abstract which society has plagues with “politics” and materiality,,, I hope people are able to see it for what it is more than what they expect from me,,,  I wonder if they will read this about palestine,,, I'm never mad about how someone might read it but I always wonder,,, I wonder about what choices I can make to be the architect of meaning,,, at what point do I let go of this need to control reception and meaning and create for me,,, letting it be to them what it is,,, It exists only in the eyes of the viewer whatever the internet  goes out the window as soon as foreign eyes lay upon it,,, I must accept this,,, thus is the fate of an artists,,, while I often experience the world as it experiences me, the world is often just experiencing me as a mirror of themselves, never encountering an ounce of actuality of my character,,, 

there is Art being formed in a community,,, in a quest to draw from our emotional wells, each of my dancers have drawn upon their own personal experiences with toxic and abusive relationships,,, our first rehearsal began with a group journaling and therapy session building trust between my cast and allowing us to pinpoint source material to draw upon,,, we were then able  to enter the dance with a newfound sense of understanding of the things we each carried when walking through the studio doors,,, as must as any other part of this work is art, the space between each of us dancers is a work of art,,, the conversations had, the community built the new found friendships and strengthened existing ones are as sculptural as they are soulful,,, as much as this is emotions being alchemized into Art this is practicing acts of daily living as art,,, this is relational aesthetics,,, this is Life As An Experiment In Art,,,